I’ve haven’t got a thing to talk to you about.
I. Got. Nuffin’
Except for this:
I was sitting in front of my ‘puter doing top secret things and trying to concentrate, which is an activity I find terribly difficult. It’s even harder when I notice my little postage stamp, email icon, adding red numbers indicating I have mail. Up they go, 1, 2 , 3... I try to ignore them. I turn off the sound so I don’t get pinged but I can’t help but notice them increasing.
“I’ll look at them later.” Sensible me thinks. “When I’ve finished what I’m supposed to be doing..yeah.”
I stay strong. I continue with my stuff. Then my inner dialogue starts.
“ You know you wanna open it “ Says my tormented, mind flitting, anarchist. “Go on.. there might be some interesting news..”
“Go to hell.” I look at the icon...6 now.
“Come on. Lets just take a quick look. It might be important..”
“No. I shan't. I like to pretend that I am not controlled by internet interaction, or other gadgets. I’m a free spirit. Leave me alone.”
“Well, you never answer your texts on your phone.. Look where that gets you. You make people cross.”
“Don’t care.” I continue but I can feel myself weakening. Somehow my mouse clicks it open all by itself.
I find there’s nothing really interesting what-so-bloody ever, except for a load of stuff I have at some time or other subscribed to but never read. And one from a person wanting a quote on something that I now feel obliged to answer just incase they have ‘read receipt’ and KNOW that I’ve read their mail and expect an instantaneous response. Control freaks. Then I remember that if I don’t get fast responses to my things I become like a teenage drama queen.
“See! There’s nothing here that I wanted to read.” I say out loud to no one but my self (s). I click briefly on each e mail pressing delete before I even read any. But then, as I moved one quickly to the trash, I thought I saw something mildly interesting so I went back to the bin to find it.
It was about strangers kissing, of which I will show you very shortly. I suppose it’s like speed dating but you can cut out the small talk. Let’s cut to the chase and go straight for the chemistry, this could go further, OK let’s get a cab. My place or yours? Honestly don’t think that would work for me unless you were Thor or something. I’m usually seduced by the mind. If you can get into mine. It’s very busy in there with a lot of arguing.
So, I watched this little video and it made me smile how awkward people looked. The averting of eyes. The schoolyard sniggers. The twirling and squirming of limbs. I wondered if somebody might wet their pants. The body language was quite entertaining.
Now when you have a look at this check out the following:
Greg: Now Greg looks like he should be the most timid of all to me but he’s not. He is the most quietly confident. Like he’s been snogging strangers all his life. I like him for that. It makes you want to kiss him.
The two guys: One of them says “You have nice eyes.” I thought that was funny.
Isobelles partner: (couple number 3) He says “ Shall we make out?” DUH...You think? If I was her I’d have said “No”
The odd couple: A tattoo sleeved guy that I swear is kissing his mother.
Meryl Streep: Kinda looks like her and is an actress. An actress who looks like she hates kissing. That’s kind of screwed up her career then.
Lieselotte: Miss wanna be porn star. “Oh look! I’m on camera.” I don’t know what her name is but I’ve named her such because she looks like a Lieselotte. She has her plaits tied up on her head like a fraulein and is dressed in some sort of French stripy t-shirt that is barely hanging on to one sharp shoulder blade. I think she’s confused as to which European look she’s going for. Anyway, here’s a girl who totally gives it some dinner.
I told you I had nothing. You should start listening to me.