Sometimes things annoy me so much that I can’t leave them alone. Where other people would walk away, I cannot.  If I feel I have been wronged my inner goddess of vengeance emerges. 

One thing that annoys me (particularly in my country) is service and people that work in customer service but fail to recognise what that actually means.  The British way is to usually shrug your shoulders and walk away but then bitch and moan about your experience to everybody and vote with your feet.  I think this is wrong. You cant slag something off and then not be prepared to voice your opinion to the wrong doer or things will not change.  That’s just my opinion.  When I am out and about in the world, I make a point of being polite and accommodating to people.   Particularly to those in a service industry as I appreciate how annoying it must be to deal with the fuckwittery of society.  However, if I am nice to you then I expect the same.  If you treat me poorly when I’ve done nothing wrong then there’s nothing I can do because my ‘Adrestia’ will take over. 

Two weeks ago I sent a parcel to a friend overseas.   I chose the express option as I wanted it to be there the next day. Cos that’s what express means.  

The following day I checked my tracking number and the parcel was still in bloody Stansted airport.  I was not amused.  This delivery had cost me over £40.00. That’s like a night out with my friends for a meal and a bottle of wine or half a pair of Irregular Choice shoes or a 25th of a Macbook air, or... Anyway, it’s expensive.

Maybe it was going by learjet or something, so I waited until the day after. It was still in Stansted.  

Well, there wasn’t a great deal I could do about it but I decided to email the parcel company asking, very politely, for an explanation and that they consider a partial refund so that I paid for the economy option since that’s what I got.   I received one of those generic e mails to say that it would be dealt with shortly.  It wasn’t.  My parcel did not arrive at it’s destination until 4 days later than it’s due date.  That’s when snakes started coming out of my head. 

I sent another e mail... Then another. Over the next week I sent 6  emails.  Now here’s the part where most people would have just given up because it’s not worth the hassle but to me it becomes a point of principle.  I’m now not so worried about the money part as I’ve probably spent as much in time and effort but it’s about the lack of consideration. Bad manners mate!

So, I made a phone call.  Spoke to Millie.  She promised to ring me back.  Guess what? 

Next day I wrote another e mail asking why nobody was coming back to me.  Gavin wrote back saying he was dealing with it.  But he didn’t. 

The following day I spoke to Rob.  Rob said I needed to talk to Gavin but Gavin was on the phone.  I rang back 3 more times that day.  Gavin was still on the phone.  He must have very sore ears, poor lamb.

And on it went. For two weeks.

So today I woke in a rather tetchy mood, which I decided to give to Gavin since he was now starting to right royally piss me off. 

Millie answered.

“Hi Millie, it’s me.”

Silence... Brain ticking over..oops.

“Hi, are you having a good day?”  She asked.

I thought that was a rather stupid, open ended question to ask me but then, let’s be fair, it’s not Millie’s fault.

“ No Millie.”  I retorted,  “I’m not American so my day is really kind of average and Gavin is starting to ruin most of them by refusing to respond to me.  What is Gavin’s actual role in the business, Millie?”

“Err.. Well he’s in charge of customer service..”


“He is? Goodness. Does he ever make his bonus?  I don’t suppose by any chance he’s available right now?” 

“Let me check.”

Cue Vivaldi’s Four Seasons.

“ Hi... He’s on..”

“The phone.  I know. Well I’d like you to take a message for me if you will, Millie? You’re going to need a pen and a sheet of A4”  

“OK”  She said.

“Now, here’s what I want you to tell Gavin.   Tell him that I don’t want him to reply to me because I have a life to live and it’s losing will. Instead I’m going to write a piece on the diabolical service I have received and how poorly run the customer service department is when your customers have a problem.  I will then send that off to an editor of a national tabloid so other people are aware of you and aren’t ripped off or sent to Coventry. I’ll make sure I send  along a copy of the article to the Managing Director of your firm so he can sit back and read it before it goes to press with a nice cup of tea.  Merry Christmas. “

Not five minutes later I received  an e mail. 

Dear Juliette,

Firstly, I do understand how very frustrating that this must be for you and I am very sorry that the item was both delivered late and also for the time that it has taken to address your issue.
Please do understand that we are not trying to brush this aside. On this occasion, what I am willing to do, is offer you a 100% refund of the shipping charges that you paid to send your item, as a gesture of good will due to the inconvenience that was experienced with this parcel and the unacceptable lateness of this response.

Please do let me know if you are happy to accept the above offer and I will ensure that the credit is processed as soon as possible.

Again, please do accept my personal apologies Juliette and I do hope that you give our services another try in the future.

Thats the ticket, Gav.  Drinks are on you :)