Y is for Yippee-Ki-Yay

NB: Post may contain inappropriate...stuff... and offensive language 

Colin’s hands cupped my face as he gently kissed me, slowly exploring my mouth.  My head was spinning with a million fuzzy thoughts but I didn’t pull away from him.  He broke away smoothly, his face still close to mine, his lips millimetres away as he looked down into my eyes.  I was dizzy and breathless and didn’t know if it was the result of the wine or I was actually swooning.  Maybe this was a bad idea.  He was my boss.  OK, ex boss but I’d still be working on and off for him. My head was saying stop but my body was screaming go for gold. 

“Colin ..I don’t think..”

“No. Don’t think.”  He whispered as he lowered his mouth to mine again. This time his kiss was harder. His hand travelled to the nape of my neck, twisting my hair between his fingers. He pulled firmly on my tousled locks forcing my head back and pressing his mouth down with more passion; his tongue teased and sought out mine, probing and playful.   I played back.  I was lost in his kiss; Becoming submissive to his need.  His hand slowly slid down my stretched neck and over the veil like fabric of my dress and softly glanced over my breast. It was momentary but I felt my body respond to his touch, my back arched slightly pushing me into his solid abdomen, the yearning in the depths of my core building in waves of rampant desire.   He released my hair and moved both hands gradually down my sides, following the contours of my body, over my hips where he held me firmly and pulled me close to him.  I felt him hard against me and my body pulsated with want.  He pulled the fine material of my dress up to my hips.  I felt the fabric tickle my outer thighs as it moved up over the fine denier of my ‘hold up’ stockings.  His hands moved to the rear of my body and squeezed the round flesh of my ass. He buried his head into the curve of my neck as it met my shoulder, sucking and biting gently on my warm skin.  He lifted me up effortlessly and sat me on the edge of his desk, sweeping papers to the floor with no regard.  He parted my knees and moved his body in-between me as he ran his palms up my stockinged legs, pausing where the sheer nylon met the soft naked flesh of my inner thighs.   I felt my limbs begin to tremble as they gripped his hips and I slid my fingers just under the waistband of his trousers, moving them to meet together at the buckle of his belt which I started to undo with deliberate slowness.

“Oh, Soph..” He groaned.  He reached round to the back of my dress and undid the zip inch by inch as we both stared wantonly at each other. His soulful blue eyes now looked more needy and navy blue /black like the colour of his suit.  I took a sharp intake of breath as he pulled the dress from my shoulders and let the material fall in folds at my elbows.  I could feel my heart beating in every part of my body.

“Oh my God..” I whispered as I gazed upon his parted lips. He stared down at me and I could feel his breath, hot on my face as he drank me in.

“Yippee-Ki-Yay, Motherfucker.” He growled.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

I woke up with a start just before my alarm went off and for a split second I felt normal.  Then it all came back to me in a nasty flash and I felt like a slovenly whore. Jesus Christ, I slept with my boss.  I sat up in bed and tried to collect my thoughts which proved extremely difficult in my hungover state.  

“Oh.My.God.” I kept repeating out loud as remnants of the evening came flooding back to me.  How the hell was I going to deal with going to work today?   What a hideous nightmare.  I remembered it being past 2.30 am when I’d finally got home.  Colin had insisted on riding back with me in the cab to make sure I got there OK, which was nice of him.  As I’d made to get out the car he’d pulled me back and kissed me long and slow, not giving a toss about the waiting taxi driver.  I remembered hoping that Brendon wasn’t still up as he would have gone spare if he’d seen me with another bloke.  As far as he was concerned my role was ‘Mother to Brendon – end of story.’  I was surprised he hadn’t rang me, that was most unusual, but he’d left every single light in the house on like normal.  I’d tiptoed to bed and fallen into it and the next thing I knew I was here, in the bright light of morn, where everything didn’t look quite so pretty.

I went downstairs and made some honey on toast.  I wasn’t that hungry but I needed sugary carbohydrates to make me feel better. And tea. Lots of it.    I heard the thumping sounds of Brendon coming downstairs.  He walked in and glared at me.  He looked as shattered as I felt. 

“Where the hell were you last night?  What time did you get in?”

“Morning!” I smiled with fake cheeriness.  I really didn’t need the Spanish inquisition right now. 
“I can’t remember.” I lied.  “It was fairly late.”

“Well it was way after midnight when I went to bed...Why were you out with your boss so late?”

“It was an important restaurant review.”   The World Service menu paled into insignificance next to the desserts that had followed at the office.  I experienced a sudden sense of thrill and fear as I thought about it.

After dropping the kids at school and making my way to work I spent the whole journey planning on how I was going to react to Colin.  What I was going to say, how I was going to say it and how cool and composed I was going to be. I was thankful that this was my second to last day at work and this hadn’t happened in the midst of my career.  As I approached the office from the street I was reminded of last night and like I was doing the walk of shame.  I was dreading going in.  I felt like a naughty schoolgirl, it was ridiculous and I urged myself to get a grip. 

  I walked into the office and said a general ‘Good morning’ to everyone around.  I looked down the bottom of the corridor to Colin’s office as I made my way to my desk.  I saw him standing talking to someone on his mobile and he watched me as I made my way through.  I broke my gaze away as I couldn’t handle it.  He was far enough away that I couldn’t tell what he was thinking, thank God.  I felt like a stupid, bloody teenager.

“Soph... You’re nearly leaving..” Said Johnno in a sad voice.

I smiled. “I’ve just bloody got here!  Don’t start upsetting me.  But if you make me a coffee I’ll visit you every week.”

“I promise to do my best. I will actually miss you.”  I pulled a sad face and he wiped away a fake tear.

OK I’ll make you a coffee, but hold on, I’ve got you something..”  He went to his desk and brought back a Clinton’s Card’s bag.

I thanked him and opened it up to find a little grey teddy bear saying ‘Forever Friends.’

“Awwww, Johnno that’s so cute!  I love him.  You’re the best friend anyone could ever have.”  I said sincerely.  He was so god damn nice.  I watched him walk down the corridor, thankful I didn’t have to make my own drink as the kitchen was past Colin’s office and I couldn’t face that yet.  As Johnno walked by it I flicked my eyes over to see Colin still standing talking and still looking down towards my desk.

Jesus Christ.  I thought.

I fired up my computer and went on my word game whilst I waited for it to spark into life.
The Voice still hadn’t played.  Nor left a message.  I felt sad and hurt and wondered what I’d done.

Johnno came back with my coffee.

“You’re an angel.” I said as I brought the hot drink to my mouth.

“So how was the World Service? Colin said it was a great night.” 
“Yes it was very nice.”  I replied thinking that ‘Colin had said it was a great night’ and running that through my mind.

My desk phone buzzed and broke me out of my dream.

“Soph, Can you come through for a minute?”  Colin said through my earpiece.

My heart went into a mad aerobic rave and I was not sure my legs would carry me down the passageway.  My brain kicked in as I made my way to his office, ‘OK, this is it.  Act as normal as possible.  You’re a grown up.  A woman of the world.  It’s just one of those things. Normal.  Everyday occurrence.  Loads of people do this kind of thing.’

He was sat at his desk, nice and calm, with a happy smile.  I glanced very quickly into his eyes, unable to keep up the eye contact.  As I sat down I saw the champagne bottle in the corner of the room and felt my cheeks flush a little.  Oh God.

I sat down in his leather chair playing with my hands in my lap and wanting to burst out laughing with anxiety.

“So, how do you feel?”  He tilted his head on one side and smiled.
“A bit rough to be honest.”  This was excruciating already.  How was he so together?

“Soph...”  He waited until I looked up. “How do you feel...about last night?”

Here we go.  The about last night speech.

“Great film.” I said. “One of Rob Lowe’s finest I think.” I replied, using humour to get me out of a difficult conversation as usual.

“Soph...How do you feel?” He said flatly.  OK.  Now I was pissing him off.  He obviously wanted this to be dealt with so life could carry on as normal.

“Look...It’s one of those things. We’re both adults.  We had too much to drink and ..blah...you know.”  I replied matter of factly.

 “Is that all?” He responded.

“What do you mean?”  Sometimes I just wished people would be more direct.

“Did you enjoy yourself?”

“What? Oh God...really?  Yes Colin.  I enjoyed myself.  Did you?”  Shit.  What if he said no and I’d just said yes?

“More than I imagined and I have a good imagination.” He gave me a wicked grin and I burst out laughing.

“Right.  Well, OK then.” I was crap at this kind of conversation.

He sat there just looking at me.  All steady and confident and allowing the silence to go on too long for my liking.  I didn’t know what to do so I started singing a Taylor Swift song in my head.

“Soph...I’d like to make more of this.  If you’d like to?”
More of it?  More of it how? Like booty calls or what? What did he mean?

“As in...well.. like,  last night kinda thing?” I asked.

Colin started laughing. “Well ..yeah..that kinda thing definitely but more than that."
Too many thoughts, as usual, whirred in my head.  Could I? Did I want to? He was gorgeous..it was fun..but..Colin was a free spirit and bored easily.  It could ruin the friendship let alone the working relationship I’d need to maintain. I had kids and he didn’t.  I had a Brendon.  That was enough to tip anyone over the edge. I came with more baggage than a 747.  But that didn’t matter right now... I didn’t have money for fancy nights out anymore..I mean.. I couldn’t expect him to pay for everything.  No way.  How could it work? 

“Is that a no then?”  He asked quietly, breaking my mind fill.

“No, no, no.  Yes. No..” I stumbled.

“Which one Soph?” He looked deep into my eyes and I felt that pull from last night.  Shit.

“I’d like to throw caution to the wind and say yes.  But, I’m not sure Colin.  I don’t want to become one of your Trudies’ and I don’t want to ruin our current relationship. “I looked at him directly and was proud of myself for being together and succinct.

“Well I’m going to take that as a yes Soph...and you don’t even fall into the ‘Trudie’ bracket. Your qualities are unquantifiable.” He winked at me. 

I sat there just looking at him.

“So, let’s get down to it then.”  He said.

“Down to it? Here? ....” I looked at him gone out.

“To work?” He offered.

Oh God, I thought. Of course. Yes, to work. Ugh.  I felt like such a Muppet. I stood up to leave.

“I’ll speak to you later babe.” He looked up with his big blue eyes.
Those eyes were going to kill me, I thought.

“Ok then.”  I said, and left his office.