NB: Post may contain inappropriate...stuff... and offensive language
Colin’s
hands cupped my face as he gently kissed me, slowly exploring my mouth. My head was spinning with a million fuzzy
thoughts but I didn’t pull away from him.
He broke away smoothly, his face still close to mine, his lips millimetres
away as he looked down into my eyes. I
was dizzy and breathless and didn’t know if it was the result of the wine or I
was actually swooning. Maybe this was a
bad idea. He was my boss. OK, ex boss but I’d still be working on and
off for him. My head was saying stop but my body was screaming go for gold.
“Colin ..I
don’t think..”
“No. Don’t
think.” He whispered as he lowered his
mouth to mine again. This time his kiss was harder. His hand travelled to the
nape of my neck, twisting my hair between his fingers. He pulled firmly on my
tousled locks forcing my head back and pressing his mouth down with more
passion; his tongue teased and sought out mine, probing and playful. I played back. I was lost in his kiss; Becoming submissive
to his need. His hand slowly slid
down my stretched neck and over the veil like fabric of my dress and softly
glanced over my breast. It was momentary but I felt my body respond to his
touch, my back arched slightly pushing me into his solid abdomen, the yearning
in the depths of my core building in waves of rampant desire. He released my hair and moved both hands
gradually down my sides, following the contours of my body, over my hips where
he held me firmly and pulled me close to him.
I felt him hard against me and my body pulsated with want. He pulled the fine material of my dress up to
my hips. I felt the fabric tickle my outer
thighs as it moved up over the fine denier of my ‘hold up’ stockings. His hands moved to the rear of my body and
squeezed the round flesh of my ass. He buried his head into the curve of my
neck as it met my shoulder, sucking and biting gently on my warm skin. He lifted me up effortlessly and sat me on
the edge of his desk, sweeping papers to the floor with no regard. He parted my knees and moved his body in-between
me as he ran his palms up my stockinged legs, pausing where the sheer nylon met
the soft naked flesh of my inner thighs.
I felt my limbs begin to tremble as they gripped his hips and I slid my
fingers just under the waistband of his trousers, moving them to meet together
at the buckle of his belt which I started to undo with deliberate slowness.
“Oh, Soph..”
He groaned. He reached round to the back
of my dress and undid the zip inch by inch as we both stared wantonly at each other.
His soulful blue eyes now looked more needy and navy blue /black like the
colour of his suit. I took a sharp
intake of breath as he pulled the dress from my shoulders and let the material
fall in folds at my elbows. I could feel
my heart beating in every part of my body.
“Oh my God..”
I whispered as I gazed upon his parted
lips. He stared down at me and I could feel his breath, hot on my face as he
drank me in.
“Yippee-Ki-Yay,
Motherfucker.” He growled.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I woke up
with a start just before my alarm went off and for a split second I felt
normal. Then it all came back to me in a
nasty flash and I felt like a slovenly whore. Jesus Christ, I slept with my boss.
I sat up in bed and tried to collect my thoughts
which proved extremely difficult in my hungover state.
“Oh.My.God.”
I kept repeating out loud as remnants of the evening came flooding back to
me. How the hell was I going to deal
with going to work today? What a
hideous nightmare. I remembered it being
past 2.30 am when I’d finally got home.
Colin had insisted on riding back with me in the cab to make sure I got there
OK, which was nice of him. As I’d made
to get out the car he’d pulled me back and kissed me long and slow, not giving
a toss about the waiting taxi driver. I
remembered hoping that Brendon wasn’t still up as he would have gone spare if
he’d seen me with another bloke. As far
as he was concerned my role was ‘Mother to Brendon – end of story.’ I was surprised he hadn’t rang me, that was most unusual, but he’d left every single
light in the house on like normal. I’d
tiptoed to bed and fallen into it and the next thing I knew I was here, in the
bright light of morn, where everything didn’t look quite so pretty.
I went downstairs
and made some honey on toast. I wasn’t
that hungry but I needed sugary carbohydrates to make me feel better. And tea.
Lots of it. I heard the thumping
sounds of Brendon coming downstairs. He
walked in and glared at me. He looked as
shattered as I felt.
“Where the
hell were you last night? What time did
you get in?”
“Morning!” I
smiled with fake cheeriness. I really
didn’t need the Spanish inquisition right now.
“I can’t
remember.” I lied. “It was fairly late.”
“Well it was
way after midnight when I went to bed...Why were you out with your boss so late?”
“It was an
important restaurant review.” The World
Service menu paled into insignificance next to the desserts that had followed
at the office. I experienced a sudden sense of
thrill and fear as I thought about it.
After
dropping the kids at school and making my way to work I spent the whole journey
planning on how I was going to react to Colin.
What I was going to say, how I was going to say it and how cool and
composed I was going to be. I was thankful that this was my second to last day at
work and this hadn’t happened in the midst of my career. As I approached the office from the street I
was reminded of last night and like I was doing the walk of shame. I was dreading going in. I felt like a naughty schoolgirl, it was
ridiculous and I urged myself to get a grip.
I walked into the office and said a general ‘Good morning’ to everyone
around. I looked down the bottom of the
corridor to Colin’s office as I made my way to my desk. I saw him standing talking to someone on his mobile
and he watched me as I made my way through.
I broke my gaze away as I couldn’t handle it. He was far enough away that I couldn’t tell
what he was thinking, thank God. I felt
like a stupid, bloody teenager.
“Soph... You’re
nearly leaving..” Said Johnno in a sad voice.
I smiled. “I’ve
just bloody got here! Don’t start
upsetting me. But if you make me a coffee
I’ll visit you every week.”
“Really?”
“I promise
to do my best. I will actually miss you.” I pulled a sad face and he wiped away a fake
tear.
“OK I’ll
make you a coffee, but hold on, I’ve got you something..” He went to his desk and brought back a
Clinton’s Card’s bag.
I thanked
him and opened it up to find a little grey teddy bear saying ‘Forever Friends.’
“Awwww,
Johnno that’s so cute! I love him. You’re the best friend anyone could ever
have.” I said sincerely. He was so god damn nice. I watched him walk down the corridor, thankful
I didn’t have to make my own drink as the kitchen was past Colin’s office and I
couldn’t face that yet. As Johnno walked
by it I flicked my eyes over to see Colin still standing talking and still
looking down towards my desk.
Jesus Christ. I thought.
I fired up
my computer and went on my word game whilst I waited for it to spark into life.
The Voice still
hadn’t played. Nor left a message. I felt sad and hurt and wondered what I’d
done.
Johnno came
back with my coffee.
“You’re an
angel.” I said as I brought the hot drink to my mouth.
“So how was
the World Service? Colin said it was a great night.”
“Yes it was
very nice.” I replied thinking that ‘Colin
had said it was a great night’ and
running that through my mind.
My desk
phone buzzed and broke me out of my dream.
“Soph, Can
you come through for a minute?” Colin
said through my earpiece.
My heart
went into a mad aerobic rave and I was not sure my legs would carry me down the
passageway. My brain kicked in as I made
my way to his office, ‘OK, this is it.
Act as normal as possible. You’re
a grown up. A woman of the world. It’s just one of those things. Normal. Everyday occurrence. Loads of people do this kind of thing.’
He was sat
at his desk, nice and calm, with a happy smile. I glanced very quickly into his eyes, unable
to keep up the eye contact. As I sat
down I saw the champagne bottle in the corner of the room and felt my cheeks
flush a little. Oh God.
I sat down
in his leather chair playing with my hands in my lap and wanting to burst out
laughing with anxiety.
“So, how do
you feel?” He tilted his head on one
side and smiled.
“A bit rough
to be honest.” This was excruciating
already. How was he so together?
“Soph...” He waited until I looked up. “How do you
feel...about last night?”
Here we
go. The about last night speech.
“Great film.”
I said. “One of Rob Lowe’s finest I think.” I replied, using humour to get me
out of a difficult conversation as usual.
“Soph...How
do you feel?” He said flatly. OK. Now I was pissing him off. He obviously wanted this to be dealt with so
life could carry on as normal.
“Look...It’s
one of those things. We’re both adults.
We had too much to drink and ..blah...you know.” I replied matter of factly.
“Is that all?” He responded.
“What do you
mean?” Sometimes I just wished people
would be more direct.
“Did you
enjoy yourself?”
“What? Oh
God...really? Yes Colin.
I enjoyed myself. Did you?” Shit.
What if he said no and I’d just said yes?
“More than I
imagined and I have a good imagination.” He gave me a wicked grin and I burst
out laughing.
“Right. Well, OK then.” I was crap at this kind of
conversation.
He sat there
just looking at me. All steady and
confident and allowing the silence to go on too long for my liking. I didn’t know what to do so I started singing
a Taylor Swift song in my head.
“Soph...I’d
like to make more of this. If you’d like
to?”
More of it? More of it how? Like booty calls or what?
What did he mean?
“As
in...well.. like, last night kinda thing?” I asked.
Colin
started laughing. “Well ..yeah..that kinda thing definitely but more than that."
Too many
thoughts, as usual, whirred in my head.
Could I? Did I want to? He was gorgeous..it was fun..but..Colin was a
free spirit and bored easily. It could
ruin the friendship let alone the working relationship I’d need to maintain. I
had kids and he didn’t. I had a
Brendon. That was enough to tip anyone
over the edge. I came with more baggage than a 747. But that didn’t matter right now... I didn’t
have money for fancy nights out anymore..I mean.. I couldn’t expect him to pay
for everything. No way. How could it work?
“Is that a
no then?” He asked quietly, breaking my
mind fill.
“No, no,
no. Yes. No..” I stumbled.
“Which one
Soph?” He looked deep into my eyes and I felt that pull from last night. Shit.
“I’d like to
throw caution to the wind and say yes.
But, I’m not sure Colin. I don’t
want to become one of your Trudies’ and I don’t want to ruin our current
relationship. “I looked at him directly and was proud of myself for being
together and succinct.
“Well I’m
going to take that as a yes Soph...and you don’t even fall into the ‘Trudie’
bracket. Your qualities are unquantifiable.” He winked at me.
I sat there
just looking at him.
“So, let’s
get down to it then.” He said.
“Down to it?
Here? ....” I looked at him gone out.
“To work?”
He offered.
Oh God, I
thought. Of course. Yes, to work.
Ugh. I felt like such a Muppet. I stood
up to leave.
“I’ll speak
to you later babe.” He looked up with his big blue eyes.
Those eyes
were going to kill me, I thought.
“Ok then.”
I said, and left his office.
