P is for Patience

  My weekends were a succession of patience, persistence and perspiration with what seemed like very little reward. The daytime of drudgery rolled into evening and hoards of teenagers ran amok in my space.  I went to the living room and shut the door to hide away the raucous behaviour that was aggravating my spirit. Oh for one day of peace.  Just one.

 My friend Lisa kept texting me, insisting that I come to her party but I kept refusing with various excuses.   I just couldn’t face getting trussed up and having to pretend to like people, particularly since she had said there was someone going she’d like me to meet and had told them all about me. Ugh. No. That would mean I’d have to be super pleasant and charming as well as go steady on the wine.  Where was the fun it that?

“But you’ll really like him. He’s gorgeous and witty and everything you like!” She enthused. “And I just KNOW he’ll love you.”

Pressure. No thanks.  Every day living was enough for me right now without taking on the possible awkward, first steps of romance.

Earlier, Brendon had thrown a DVD at me saying, “Here, watch this. Now there’s a drug that should be invented.”  He’d then also chucked an opened packet of chocolates at me with one remaining, sweaty sweet; the last one in a tube of Rolo’s.  Despite being annoyed with him I’d had to smile.  Ever since being a little boy he’d always saved me his last sweet because the Nestle advert on the telly had said, “Do you love anyone enough to give them your last Rolo?  I found it heart warming that he still did it; like it was set in stone.

I spent the next two hours on my ipad reading the links that he’d sent me about the benefits of marijuana.  I had to admit that I found the ‘Amazing Atheist’ an interesting chap.  I then found my own sources of information on the long term side effects that I emailed back to him.  I could not get into a discussion with him unless I’d gone through everything on both sides of the argument or he wouldn’t even entertain it.  Not that he was likely to listen anyway.
After I’d finished my extensive research I clicked on word and saw that ‘The Voice’ had started a new game as promised.  Round two.  I smiled.

I accepted the request and saw that he’d placed a seven letter word and got himself a bingo to boot scoring 70 points.  I hated it when that happened because it meant that you were so many points behind before you’d even started.  Not that it mattered in this case.  Whilst I still wanted a good game, the play here had become more about the chat bubbles than the score.

The Voice:  I think this game might be more challenging for you than the last.

I didn’t doubt it.  And on more than one level.  I played a reasonable 20 pointer.

Sophistication:  You have a fair chance of winning but it is early days my friend.

I decided I’d look at the film that Brendon had thrown in my direction. Limitless. Hmm.  A bit like my patience.   I read the back of the DVD cover:  'A writer discovers a top secret drug which bestows him with super human abilities.' Starring Bradley cooper, Robert De Niro and and Abbie Cornish. Yes.  That did sound like an interesting drug.  I could sure use some super human abilities right about now.  I put the film in the DVD player and settled down to watch it. Escaping to another world for a few hours was just what I needed and I was definitely up for taking some NZT-48 by the time the film finished.  

I clicked on my game before I made my way to bed.

The Voice:  So now I’ve notched up a level, from amusing monkey to friend?

Sophistication: Well, let’s just see how it goes shall we?

The Voice:  How was your evening?

Sophistication: I’m watching a film. Correction.  I watched a film.

The Voice: Which movie?

Sophistication: Limitless.

The Voice:  Now I’m jealous of Bradley Cooper.

Bradley Cooper was the main character who played the drug taking writer. By usual standards he would make it to any woman’s ‘Top twenty, shaggable celebrity list', but not mine. And ‘The Voice’ was jealous of him? An interesting development and one that made me catch my breath a little.

Sophistication:  You’ve no need to be.  Besides, I prefer Robert De Niro.

The Voice:  Now I’m jealous of De Niro.

Wow.  Where was this going, I wondered.  He was certainly getting into my head, that’s for sure.

I went to bed emotionally drained.   As I snuggled down I recognised the faint smell of Karl’s cologne from where he’d slept last night.  I wondered whether he was doing the horizontal tango with his dancing ‘friend’ and felt upset and pissed off at the same time. I turned over and shut my eyes.  Sleep would take me away from this hell of a life.  I drifted on and off in fits, primarily because I had a stream of teenagers running up and down the stairs, shouting and laughing.  I could hear the distant tones of both Ed Sheeran and Taylor Swift playing from different areas of the house.  Doors were banging and creaking and taps were being open and closed along with clinking glasses and plates.   I wanted to go downstairs and either shout or join in but I was physically wasted.  Part of me didn’t want to spoil their joy either because the fun and freedom of youth is such a short lived experience.  I decided to text:


SOPHIE RHODES:  Can you keep it down – I’m trying to sleep.

BRYONY: Yeah..Soz x

BRENDON: K, famalam.  Love you xx

I lay in bed in the dark wondering if life was ever going to be any different for me as I listened to the haunting Ed Sheeran lyrics playing behind my door, “Lights gone, day’s end, struggling to pay rent, long nights, strange men..”