weekends were a succession of patience, persistence and perspiration with what
seemed like very little reward. The daytime of drudgery rolled into evening and
hoards of teenagers ran amok in my space.
I went to the living room and shut the door to hide away the raucous
behaviour that was aggravating my spirit. Oh for one day of peace. Just one.
My friend Lisa kept texting me, insisting that
I come to her party but I kept refusing with various excuses. I just couldn’t face getting trussed up and having
to pretend to like people, particularly since she had said there was someone
going she’d like me to meet and had told them all about me. Ugh. No. That would
mean I’d have to be super pleasant and charming as well as go steady on the
wine. Where was the fun it that?
really like him. He’s gorgeous and witty and everything you like!” She
enthused. “And I just KNOW he’ll love you.”
thanks. Every day living was enough for
me right now without taking on the possible awkward, first steps of romance.
Brendon had thrown a DVD at me saying, “Here, watch this. Now there’s a drug that should be
invented.” He’d then also chucked an
opened packet of chocolates at me with one remaining, sweaty sweet; the last
one in a tube of Rolo’s. Despite being
annoyed with him I’d had to smile. Ever
since being a little boy he’d always saved me his last sweet because the Nestle
advert on the telly had said, “Do you
love anyone enough to give them your last Rolo?” I found it heart warming that he still did
it; like it was set in stone.
I spent the
next two hours on my ipad reading the links that he’d sent me about the
benefits of marijuana. I had to admit
that I found the ‘Amazing Atheist’ an interesting chap. I then found my own sources of information on
the long term side effects that I emailed back to him. I could not get into a discussion with him
unless I’d gone through everything on both sides of the argument or he wouldn’t
even entertain it. Not that he was
likely to listen anyway.
finished my extensive research I clicked on word and saw that ‘The Voice’ had
started a new game as promised. Round
two. I smiled.
the request and saw that he’d placed a seven letter word and got himself a
bingo to boot scoring 70 points. I hated
it when that happened because it meant that you were so many points behind
before you’d even started. Not that it
mattered in this case. Whilst I still
wanted a good game, the play here had become more about the chat bubbles than
The Voice: I think this game might be more challenging
for you than the last.
doubt it. And on more than one
level. I played a reasonable 20 pointer.
Sophistication: You have a fair chance of winning but it is
early days my friend.
I’d look at the film that Brendon had thrown in my direction. Limitless. Hmm. A bit like my patience. I read the back of the DVD cover: 'A
writer discovers a top secret drug which bestows him with super human
abilities.' Starring Bradley cooper, Robert De Niro and and Abbie Cornish.
Yes. That did sound like an interesting
drug. I could sure use some super human
abilities right about now. I put the
film in the DVD player and settled down to watch it. Escaping to another world for a
few hours was just what I needed and I was definitely up for taking some NZT-48 by the time the film
I clicked on
my game before I made my way to bed.
The Voice: So now I’ve notched up a level, from amusing
monkey to friend?
Sophistication: Well, let’s just see
how it goes shall we?
The Voice: How was your evening?
Sophistication: I’m watching a film.
Correction. I watched a film.
The Voice: Which movie?
The Voice: Now I’m jealous of Bradley Cooper.
Cooper was the main character who played the drug taking writer. By usual standards
he would make it to any woman’s ‘Top twenty, shaggable celebrity list', but not
mine. And ‘The Voice’ was jealous of him? An interesting development and one
that made me catch my breath a little.
Sophistication: You’ve no need to be. Besides, I prefer Robert De Niro.
The Voice: Now I’m jealous of De Niro.
Wow. Where was this
going, I wondered. He was certainly
getting into my head, that’s for sure.
I went to
bed emotionally drained. As I snuggled
down I recognised the faint smell of Karl’s cologne from where he’d slept last night. I wondered whether he was doing the
horizontal tango with his dancing ‘friend’ and felt upset and pissed off at the
same time. I turned over and shut my eyes.
Sleep would take me away from this hell of a life. I drifted on and off in fits, primarily
because I had a stream of teenagers running up and down the stairs, shouting
and laughing. I could hear the distant
tones of both Ed Sheeran and Taylor Swift playing from different areas of the
house. Doors were banging and creaking
and taps were being open and closed along with clinking glasses and plates. I wanted to go downstairs and either shout
or join in but I was physically wasted. Part of me didn’t want to spoil their joy
either because the fun and freedom of youth is such a short lived experience. I decided to text:
MSG: TO BRYONY , BRENDON
SOPHIE RHODES: Can you keep it down – I’m trying to sleep.
BRYONY: Yeah..Soz x
BRENDON: K, famalam. Love you xx
I lay in
bed in the dark wondering if life was ever
going to be any different for me as I listened to the haunting Ed Sheeran
lyrics playing behind my door, “Lights
gone, day’s end, struggling to pay rent, long nights, strange men..”