American TV

Now I love American shows like Criminal Minds, The Mentalist, Fringe and Supernatural so being in America I was looking forward to finding some new drama or series to sate my appetite.  The first thing about American TV is that there are so many channels you just end up getting repetitive strain injury from pressing the remote to find something. Worse of course is that there are so many adverts that you end up going backwards and forwards to see which programme is actually on when the adverts eventually finish.  So for the first 40 minutes you end up watching nothing! Then you get sidetracked by something, in my case it was first an advert about Zumba dancing.  The advert was so long and showed how fabulous you could look in  just 10 DAYS. I was hooked. Lose a whole dress or pant size within a week or your money back!  Learn how to zumba like a professional with this easy, reverse switch viewing, step by step, dance fit DVD! Next was an advert for a garden strimmer by WORX. I hate gardening but this could turn me into a landscape gardener. Let me tell you now this thing has changed lives! It only weighs 5lbs, it has no cable and works off lithium battery, the cord never ever breaks, it flips over with wheels and edges like a dream. It's so easy even your Grandma can use it! Plus if you order now you get free strimmer wire cartridges for LIFE! Yes LIFE! Seriously, if I lived here I'd buy everything! I would be zumba'd into skinniness and strimming like a professional gardener within weeks!

   But then theres the adverts that instil fear, paranoia and hypochondria.  Did you know you could have diabetes?  Oh yes. In fact as the slim and healthy man on TV said, even if you work out and eat a balanced, nutritious diet you can still have diabetes! Indeed there are many of us walking around with diabetes and don't actually know it!!!  At this point I put down my red velvet whoopee pie from Starbucks as I started to get a strange tingling up my arm. However, If you take this advertised  tablet (as Mr fit and healthy did) it will keep diabetes at bay and enrich your life allowing you to live with freedom and inner peace. The only problem is it can have side effects such as: stomach bleeding, ulcers, risk of stroke, headaches, blurred vision, nausea, suicidal thoughts, numbness, risk of heart attack or heart failure, blood clots and complications to the liver. Please do not take this tablet if you are nursing, pregnant, thinking of pregnancy, thinking at all, taking other medication, have difficulty breathing or eat red velvet whoopee pies.  If you wish to take this tablet please seek medical advice first or in my opinion, better still, stick with the diabetes or fear for your life!